


"Hi Jim, I'm in Iowa."

by Mijan



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M, Star Trek: AOS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-23
Updated: 2012-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-30 00:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mijan/pseuds/Mijan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy is in Iowa, and this time, Jim isn't there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Hi Jim, I'm in Iowa."

  
Hi Jim, I'm in Iowa, and it's your fault that I'm here. You’re an ass, you know that? You’re a selfish, arrogant bastard. Cocky, egotistical, headstrong, tough, determined, bold, courageous, and… what’s that they say about heroes? Just in the wrong place at the wrong time, huh? Yeah, kid, you’re good at that, too.

You were a mess of blood and bruises the first time I saw you, ya know. The shuttlecraft was full of neat rows of cadets in tidy red uniforms, and I was drunk, and you had dried blood on your face and shirt. We were both such a damn mess. The shuttlecraft docked at the Academy shuttle bay, and you followed me. Or I followed you. Not sure which, Jim, but you stuck around.

Three years later, we were back in that same goddamned shuttle bay. I almost lost you there. I should have followed orders, boarded the shuttle to the Enterprise, and left you standing there looking like a lost puppy. I couldn’t. God knows I tried, but I couldn’t. Glad I was so impulsive – we might not have had a planet left if I hadn’t. You know, I never really thought of that. If I hadn’t been so fucking addicted to you, you obnoxious little space cowboy, there’d be a black hole right now instead of Earth. You would have been sucked in with it. You never did thank me for that, by the way. But even though you never said thanks – manners weren’t your thing, Iowa boy – I knew you liked it when I stuck around. And you stuck around.

Earth. Feels good beneath my feet, but I really don’t want to be here right now.

I used to think you were accident-prone. It didn’t take me long to learn that you were actually plain ol’ reckless. You weren’t clumsy or uncoordinated; you just preferred to jump without looking. No physical fears. Well, I think you developed a phobia of hyposprays over time, but I’ll take the blame for that. I usually pressed too hard. I kinda liked listening to you yelp. It was pretty funny.

It wasn’t funny that last time.

You never gave a shit about regulations, Jim, and we all knew it. Starfleet regs say that you’re not supposed to get cozy with the natives, but as you said, it was good for diplomacy. Starfleet regs say you’re supposed to sleep at least four hours per standard twenty-four hour day, but sleep was too boring for you. Starfleet regs say that the Captain is supposed to stay on this ship and send his First Officer on away missions whenever possible.

You didn’t stick around that time.

They say you can’t tame a wild horse, you can’t cage a hawk, and you can’t keep James T. Kirk on board a starship. Not when there’s a new planet for you to explore, new aliens to meet, and new dangers to face. Not when you think that you can do it better than anyone else. Damn it Jim, yes, you do everything better than everyone else. You always did. You had no way of knowing… none of us did… that the planet was in the middle of a fucking civil war, and that the conference had been targeted by the other side.

You were a mess of blood and bruises the last time I saw you, ya know. The blast had killed half of the delegates immediately, but you were on the other side of the council chamber from where the bomb had been planted.  I tried to be gentle with the hypospray that time, but I don’t think you noticed.  It didn't help.  I couldn't help you that time, Jim.  Couldn't fix you like I promised I would.  You stayed long enough for me to see you one last time… did you hear me?  I tried to say goodbye before you slipped. Did you know I was there? I think you did. God, I hope you did.

I saw a Vulcan cry for the first time in my life that day.

That’s about all I remember.

They wanted to bring your body back here, but I didn’t let them. Somehow I don’t think you would have wanted Iowa. You’re out there now, but I’m here, on the planet that you saved once, but you’ll never see it again. It doesn’t seem fair. I mean, you always wanted to spend your entire life amongst the stars, and I just wanted to keep my feet on the ground. I just didn’t want to do it without you.

You’re still an ass. I didn’t leave you behind, but you’re gone. I can’t be angry, but damn it hurts, and there’s no drug in the world that makes this sort of pain go away.

They gave me your insignia, and I’m leaving it here. This must be the only part of Iowa that isn’t covered by a cornfield. I can see the stars from here, Jim. All of them. The bridge of the Enterprise is the only place I’ve ever seen more. I think you’d like the view. Wherever you are, I’m sure you’re getting in trouble, flirting with everything that moves, bringing your unique charm to unknown dimensions, and exploring where no man has gone before.

I just wish you'd stuck around this time.


End file.
